Walter 14

(Scene from one of Walter's many surveillance sites)

I've been on at least 12 training courses in the last two years. I've used up about three weeks of annual leave attending training courses: Level 7 'Professionalism In Security. Refresher courses under the PEACE model. Peace! i love that! Police and Criminal Evidence Act....Peace/PACE - either way - it's not the right word.. It doesn't even fit. I did an updated 'Institute of Revenues Rating and Valuation Certificate' and every piece of in-house essential beauracratic udating and obfuscating you could ever imagine....

Every last bit of it made pefect sense.

Everything you learn is essential to the carrying out of a job. And the job you do makes you who you are in the world. It gives you meaning and gives you value. It gives taxpayers their money back - which is a good thing. It stops others from stealing money from the state when they might be most tempted.

Meaning, value, a living.... everything anyone who is self respecting could want or need... from a job.

But where do all the other things that you need come from?

Sometimes i think about what other people do - what motivates them - what matters to them. i look at their faces, the way they move, their expressions and I wonder: Are they like me? Are we all more like each other than not? How do we connect? Am I helping? How do I know if I'm helping? and if I was - would they help me back?

I've started writing more of this stuff now.... As i look up, a man sat opposite me at the Library has left his computer. I am relieved, because, he has seemingly felt it necessarry to restate, all beit under his breath, like a child learning to read, everything he has done. Myself and the three others around our table have tolerated him though. Nobody did more than sigh loudly... Just as he leaves - a woman dressed in black with a slight limp takes over his seat and then shoots up suddenly shouting "excuse me". She goes after him with a watch he has left behind....

Everyday, millions of un-rewarded minor acts of honesty and help like this go un-noticed or recorded. But maybe if they could be, they would show how we are more connected than we know. Show that we want to help each other... That... we are more alike than not....

I did a quite un-usual thing yesterday...