January 21, 2020

Ho Ho Oh

something arty
something arty
farty arty and farced
art farced arse forces four farts out fast

In other news..

Death approaches cliff edge
Cliff Edge fell off. Death recorded by Miss Adventure

Oh Cliff, Cliff, Cliff...
Oh.

Blur

"Eh up Damon Albarn from Blur"
"Eh up Liam Murphy from Northfields"

LM what you doin ere?
DA come to seee my mate havent I
LM what Dave?
DA Yeah
LM Why?
DA Were talking about setting up a garden centre on the Norwich ring road next door to Notcutts
LM Fuck me that's bold. They wont like it. You're gonna screw with Nottcutts? That takes balls. Fair play
DA cheers mate - have you seen Dave?
LM No

January 20, 2020

It's Time (As Free As A Smuggled Budgie On A Milk-Train...)

I'm as free as a smuggled budgie on a milk train
Incongruous is my middle name
It's been a very long time since we time travelled
and today is the day

you won't catch me when I'm pedal to the metal
or in a boat by Loughborough
Fettled, wide and shot blasted; will you search
through the wiry shambles?

Will you wait for me in the boards and the billets
in the torpid trunks and the coves and fillets?
The asbestos never got you and it hasn't come for me yet
Just blood cancer, the prostate and the bones

Not wires, not ancestry buzzing in the Pelican
Where they all know when shush is mush to the pack
and we send them back
Travellers in time. Maybe a hobby?

Maybe you'll let me know sometime soon.








January 09, 2020

Jesus (the dog) Got An ASBO (courtesy Will Fergusson)

‘Jesus got an asbo
Oi oi oi
They caught him playing jazzbo
Oi oi oi
The devil plays a saxbo
Oi oi oi
That’s no way to keep the paxbo
Oi oi oi
Stuff it up your jumper
Oi oi oi
No, stuff it up YOUR jumpsuit
Oi oi oi
Wash with your boilersuit
Oi oi oi
I don’t possess a boilersuit!!
Oi oi oi
[Crescendo of ‘OIs’ in Canon...]
......
Oi oi oi
......
Oui oui oui
......
Ooh la lah
......

God With An ISBN (Will Fergusson)


Union of Puppets


Union of Puppets

The agreement:

In puppet time, you are finger tipped. Not exactly held, but reminded there are hands if they are needed..

And the strings? 

Time has no strings. We do not speak of them. 

Learn. 

Time may, as your steward, also rotate the shop floor. It will be responsible for re-decorations and changes of company which you will be obliged to look forward to or back upon.

From time to time, you may lease these responsibilities. You may learn to dance and weave your own animations of life and these might make you proud - or not. This, time will allow.

To make such allowances, time has partnered with Space, to provide you with will and motion.

Sub-letting of other functions for purposes of distraction, entertainment, what you may call ‘education’ and comfort (for time’s lease has no inalienable right to suffering, which all must be jointly and severally responsible for maintaining) are fully permitted with no presumption against.

Your rights in all of the above are assured,...

In time.

This agreement will last forever or until the end of time according to whichever comes soonest.

Signed on this day, on behalf of time’s lessor in this union of puppets, by:

________________________________

And on behalf of Time, by:

________________________________

at

________________________________

on

(Please state the time) 

________________________________


Welcome to the Union of Puppets,

Yours,

Time

Dog With An ASBO

The OI SONG UB40 never wrote 

In Print

Even Before Smileys were invented, how I wished I could have facially engendered
a semi-colon of my own amberlithic alteration... The dimensional stability of the Drop-outs had reduced by a halftone during the Duotone, but I will wager more than a film coat that this flooding will be the fixer and final count. ;-)

Society in Preservation: An Angry Letter To The POMFAILSPEKVHC

 - Dear Preservation Of Morals and Firmaments Assembly In Local Sitting Presidence and Emminence of the KinKirBright Village Hall Committee ...