Indifference by charm
made Alan sad
lost the best girl
he ever had

his diver got fleas
in Brighton
and washer insurance
by triton

a sunken eyed mother
who's dead made wishes
and ruined the whole
limerick

Stomache cramp

And leave the dog out of it

Send no tributes
ask not of your wallet
try not too hard
to remember me

because I know
that on all of my
pestilence
I am unforgettable

and you will never have to
grasp
or make up songs
unsung

we ve done the do
and we singed the dong

so get on with it
you were loved as well as u couldve been

pass it on

twats

x

i think im but a fleeting thing and not like me to knowit, i come around but twice a year and then i usually blow it

Xmas Decorations.

When blank for words,
fire silently; the calibre
matters to catchers.


To be counted
would be flattering deception
when you're a part of


this cryptic war.
No crosswords and no space for notes
on your epaulets.....

Kettering

One hour to London
the end.

A child's poem: legal aid withdrawn for divorce proceedings

and I, i will be king
and you, you will be queen
and nothing - nothing -
will keep us together

just for one day.

HOW CAN I SHAG YOU WHEN YOU'RE DEAD? (MY BIT)*

*(THE LEGAL BIT or

'SMALLPRINT'):

Andrew Marvell. 1621–1678



357. To His Coy Mistress



   HAD we but world enough, and time,

This coyness, Lady, were no crime

We would sit down and think which way

To walk and pass our long love's day.

Thou by the Indian Ganges' side 5

Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would

Love you ten years before the Flood,

And you should, if you please, refuse

Till the conversion of the Jews. 10

My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires, and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise

Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast, 15

But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,

And the last age should show your heart.

For, Lady, you deserve this state,

Nor would I love at lower rate. 20

   But at my back I always hear

Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;

And yonder all before us lie

Deserts of vast eternity.

Thy beauty shall no more be found, 25

Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound

My echoing song: then worms shall try

That long preserved virginity,

And your quaint honour turn to dust,

And into ashes all my lust: 30

The grave 's a fine and private place,

But none, I think, do there embrace.

   Now therefore, while the youthful hue

Sits on thy skin like morning dew,

And while thy willing soul transpires 35

At every pore with instant fires,

Now let us sport us while we may,

And now, like amorous birds of prey,

Rather at once our time devour

Than languish in his slow-chapt power. 40

Let us roll all our strength and all

Our sweetness up into one ball,

And tear our pleasures with rough strife

Thorough the iron gates of life:

Thus, though we cannot make our sun 45

Stand still, yet we will make him run.

one of my bits

this is my bit
this bit is my time
and my justice
and the wait for a cup of tea
this bit is the bit I will see you in
after which you will see me

and how....?

As a fawning feline fingered file o'faxier?
A svelte pelt of girded pinstripe
without the pins?
This bit was never to be negotiated
I make no sacrifice to obedience
for abraham, goat, hen or cow

I am a two bit free man
and i'm coming for you now

You patronising, lying cunt from the legal profession

I could kill you with my teeth
but I choose to talk to you in hell instead
How would you set out those particulars?
In bits of your own choosing - no doubt

You will leave my children to me
Or I will seek re-course to your bits
outside of due process;
I will allocate each to a fast track of it's own
and bury independently with tax revenues.

Leave to end sir? (granted).

Stand Up Notes (one Day)

1. posh mother of young child, affixing flip flops to a two year old (just like mummy's) changing two year old into 'swim sox' (just like mummy's). Two year old, not doing well on wet floor, cuts head open on edge of locker: Mummy: "See we have to learn how to do that"

2. There'll be more when Im in the mood.

More Ideas

A circuit of people
steps down to nothing
in plasticine and foam-board
and all the vagaries of that
and difficult fastenings
glue?
Somewhere a potted plant
and an absent studio cat
some pictures and
maybe a broken chair
beneath a 'false' floor
to do...

little strips of city
thin slices augmented and illustrated
stylistically -
something between architecture and archaeology
with tags: source; material; make; model; ownership; stock price; other interests; country of origin
that kind of thing
about two inches wide and as long as they need to be

Ideas For Buildings

The Centre For Malfeasance And Remedial Therapies

The National Emporium Of Lies And Liars

Dads Cafe

The Agoraphobic Institute

The Doodling Institute

The Pest Control Regulator's Office

The Office Of Laziness

The National Centre For The Re-Habilitation Of The Conscientious Objector

Slave Trade Apologists Guild

The Debtors College Of Licensed Guilt And Inequity Management

Centre For Lost Pets

Anger Management Institute

The National Collection Of ASBO's

The Regional Alliance Of Fat Children Headquarters

The Centre Of Forgetfulness

Wax Museum Of X Factor Apologists And Holocaust Denial

The Centre Of Forgetfulness

The British Institute Of Melamine Floor Layers

Centre For The Homeless

The Poetry Regulators Office

The Gay Truck Drivers' Benevolent Society HQ

The Bastard Institute

The Smelly People Refuge

The Scottish Gallery Of Dustbins

National Repository And Disposal Unit For The Poor

The Guild Of Excuses For The Rich

The Remedial Centre For Anthropomorphology

Gay Grandparents Benevolent Society

The Nail Technicians Library

The People's Centre For The Historic Study Of The Sun-Bed

The Dislexic Gould

The Society Of Forgetfulness

The National Re-homing Centre For Postman's Lost Red Elastic Bands

The Aural Library Of Racist Chants

The Toe Nail Clippings Collection

The Flea Simulators Pension Authority

Conservative Repayment And Posthumous Partying Yearly (CRAPPY) aka - The Centre For The Campaign For A Yearly Celebration Of Margaret Thatcher's Death.

Heaven's Fundraisers Pension Fund Management Society HQ

Ministry Of Wincing

Ministry Of Tweets

The Tweet Regulators Office

hippy shit

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain..

Tariq Aziz

they killed him in cold blood and he was our friend
we loved you tariq until the end
but now we realize malficience is the wrong word
and weve drunk too much
to even complain properly
which must make you chuckle in heaven
with your virgins and other
stereotypical jingoistic stereotypicalities
its nice to forget big words Tariq
we hope you feel the same
and I hope im not guilty
when the long run ends
of writing to martyrs
who should have been friends
in heaven?

Grandad Ted.

trick outnumbered
swansong
deteriorates
ameliorateable
decriptions
of oafism
and tongues
I sit with my mother and we speak
and I remember cold moulded boot dirt from on the stairs
her anger
a hole in the wall
the carpet, the cat,
amblings
cockington woodwork
the red nosed bastard and livingstone fagin
David Koresh
77 Stotfield Rd
Robin Hood
They all come to no good don't they
Do they not?
Do they?
Who?
Do we?
The butchers shop. Details of thirst and dizziness
a pain in the lower back from exhaustion and hedge hopping
dehydrated hedges hopped for your great dissatisfaction and apples taken at will
Frogs smashed with wooden mallet
Gnomes nicked.
No PCSO's
The Googly; the gollywogs
The buggers nicked 'is ball
OOOOOOh Liam
"Come And Get Your Dinner"
in the fan club
with David Harpin, Trevor Cole and Maurice Seagrave.
through the bushes
between the fence
mrs hughes not in?
apples.
Jam sandwiches, weetabix, egg bacon and sliced potatoes fried and dripping and bread and beans and cheese grilled straight on to the plate.

Cleaning Blue Children

No
Again? No
Blue again no?
No blue again, OK?
OK, blue again, no way!
You ok? blue again? no way
OK blue, you again? no way home.
Children! You blue again? OK, no way. Home!

Cleaning With Children

Cleaning
Angry cleaning
Shouting angry cleaning
Shouting with angry cleaning
Shouting children with angry cleaning
Angry with children, shouting, cleaning, murder.
Angry blue shouting, cleaning with children, murder.
Cleaning with children: Screaming angry shouting blue murder.