... feeling the rush of age and infirmity, I am resolved to write a one thousand word urban flash fiction fantasy AT THE SAME TIME as a short play which I have already begun to pen with my daughter in which she plays a reality TV contestant who stands accused of eating a dwarf and bombing the olympic village, arousing this opening line of dialogue: "you dorty, dorty, dwarf-eating, olympics-bombing bastard!" (said in a very broad Geordie accent).