The lessons of 2014:
1. Other people have shittier lives than you. Be mindful of them and be patient.
2. It is of no comfort that other people have shittier lives than you. Your pain is real.
3. Pain is relative. But after a certain level it is absolute.
4. No pain, no gain.
5. Do Yoga
6. Cook nice things
7. Take time and don't panic.
8. Do it now - it will be over if you don't.
9. Don't worry about money if you know someone who's going to die and leave you some.
10. Just have a nice time
11. Don't wait for people to die and leave you money - kill them yourself.
12. Don't believe all underage sex stories. Some are just honest business cartels trying to gainsay a bit of insider info on the competition. It's all in the game - even if a few royals get implicated. Blame the under-age girls if all else fails.
13. It is quite possible to walk in Central Park and not be recognised - even if you are 5th in line to the throne - if you wear some really old trainers and jeans.
14. WHAT?
15. Keep your basic company information, VAT numbers, charity registrations etc all in one safe place - so you can always put together an application for funding - even when your plane crashes in the desert and you are the only survivor and vultures peck a your feet.
16. Please yourself. NO - Not like that!
17. Think bad thoughts
18. Think good thoughts.
19. Put none of these into action.
20. Do what you have to and no more
21. When you are 46, plan how you want to be at 65.
22. When you are 65, plan how you want to be at 46.
23. Choose your own way to die and invite everyone you love.
24. Too late.
1. Other people have shittier lives than you. Be mindful of them and be patient.
2. It is of no comfort that other people have shittier lives than you. Your pain is real.
3. Pain is relative. But after a certain level it is absolute.
4. No pain, no gain.
5. Do Yoga
6. Cook nice things
7. Take time and don't panic.
8. Do it now - it will be over if you don't.
9. Don't worry about money if you know someone who's going to die and leave you some.
10. Just have a nice time
11. Don't wait for people to die and leave you money - kill them yourself.
12. Don't believe all underage sex stories. Some are just honest business cartels trying to gainsay a bit of insider info on the competition. It's all in the game - even if a few royals get implicated. Blame the under-age girls if all else fails.
13. It is quite possible to walk in Central Park and not be recognised - even if you are 5th in line to the throne - if you wear some really old trainers and jeans.
14. WHAT?
15. Keep your basic company information, VAT numbers, charity registrations etc all in one safe place - so you can always put together an application for funding - even when your plane crashes in the desert and you are the only survivor and vultures peck a your feet.
16. Please yourself. NO - Not like that!
17. Think bad thoughts
18. Think good thoughts.
19. Put none of these into action.
20. Do what you have to and no more
21. When you are 46, plan how you want to be at 65.
22. When you are 65, plan how you want to be at 46.
23. Choose your own way to die and invite everyone you love.
24. Too late.
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