The Happy Days Of Paranoia and Good Old Self Loathing (or 'Puff Gone')

It doesn't paint a picture of the place or evoke anything of the feeling
but I have a list of the things that were there when it all became clear.

Not clear in a shorthand, obvious, easy to explain kind of way,
but clear in a deeper, more definite, authentic, feeling kind of a way.

It was just a street, well, an entrance to a street, that comes off a park
A sort of exit-come-segway from a 'green space' to a pedestrian crossing

ring road place to some inner city flats and houses... It was a memory really.
A particular memory of how, neatly folded in to this beautiful, green, connected

cultured, slightly self obsessed place, there is an iron curtain of closed shop
self indulgent 'we'll actually never meet the not of our like ever if we can avoid it'

crowd.

But you'd never know it. And though that sounds like a blessing at first, in fact, your
ignorance will add to the sensations of exclusion, smallness, irrelevance, cluelessness

and ultimately poverty and death, which you will suffer alone, knowing, finally
that you were not one of them and that there was no-one else but them, in fact, ever.

This will be your only blessing and it would be worth remembering how you'd been there before
and how the belief that you'd ever left was ultimately erroneous, as confirmed now by your final breath.