Potential Comedy Notes: What's In A Name?

Norfolk dialect comes with some really interesting turns of phrase. A lot of stuff I'd never heard before I came here. the Nimmo Twins have made a healthy living (allbeit limited geographically) out of it. It got me thinking about some of those phrases that you only hear in Norfolk. Like this one: " Oh, she's very near hearted..." I kind of wondered what that meant for a while, then forgot about it and then it was said to me the other day and I kind of got what it was... I mean for fuck sake - your hearts here - in your chest - y know? It's a way of describing someone who's maybe not generous with their emotions; who can't see far beyond their own needs and motivations, kind of selfish, maybe a bit child-like...  Then that got me thinking about all the possible conversations which could have taken place in Norfolk, over the years - you know, around those kind of misunderstandings about language..

Like this one - between Pocohontas and her husband: I was imagining her coming home to him after a day doing whatever American Indian 'Princesses' used to do in C17 Norfolk and saying: "John- o (for that was his name) That bloke at the shop called me near hearted. Why he call me that?" Her husband, I imagine, would reply with something along the lines of: "Listen Poke, don't take it to heart, 'it's just a Norfolk expression. He didn't mean anything by it" Good, re-assuring husband work - yeah?.. But Pocohontas isn't put off: " .. but he say: 'you near hearted' like him no like". So I say: "who near hearted? and him just look at me - and then I say 'who far-hearted?" and him just laugh at me Johno... and then everyone else laugh at me... You no like people from the plains in Norfolk..  Why they all laughing at Pocohontas?

"We're all from the plains in Norfolk Poke - don't worry about it",  offers John-o, still doing the re-assurande thing.. But then, despite his best intentions, a little chuckle escapes his lips. Poke picks it up straight away:  All her Indian rage is summoned and she let's rip at John-O:

"John-O (for that is his name) Now You laugh at Pocohantas. (she's enraged all over agian and storming out:) YOU far hearted and that nasty man in the shop far hearted and everyone in this stinking country far hearted. Everyone Far Hearted!" The poor woman - imagine - incandescent with rage...

And John-O, bless him, what could he do? - laughing himself into an early divorce.... Oh Norfolk.

Could well of happened. Almost certain....

....

Ah well, what else to satirise: Politics?...

'Melania Trump', pause: 'Melania Trump' (pause) 'Melania Trump' (until someone laughs -) SEE!

.. there's no need to go any further is there. What's in a name? Melania Trump... Oh dear, .. Seriously though. Melania Trump: 'Sheffield Ski Village' , Cultural Regeneration In Corby, etc etc.. Oxymorons - i think thats what they're called...

(two volunteers to re-create the first meeting of Melania and Donald... props - blond wig and stuffed cat... )

I see she's locked into a legal battle with the Daily Mail, Melania... They've said she was a high class call girl and had a total nervous breakdown and she says she didn't...  Surely she could have had the foresight to see the potential benefit to the hubster in the headlines: "Malignant narcissist turned president of United States saves poor Slovenian immigrant from poverty and total mental breakdown"... What's not to like in that?..

Melania Trump... Who far hearted?

It'd all be better if Pocohontas was first lady - 'Donald - Who Far hearted?"...

Anyway... what's in a name? Donald... Melania... Melania Trump, Melania far-hearted... Whatever.