and...

you will have learned, by the age of 42, to remain silent, because you will have also learned that any protest, intervention or reaction in any degree will lead to personal suffering of an intensity which you have previously endured and can endure no more. Silence will therefore become your modus operandi. During silences of this palliative kind, you will, during the halting second movement of your life, learn to think of things which will make you smile inwardly. This you will do outwardly at first before you learn this latter essential lesson and are made to suffer accordingly.