Look at this woman here... bin rummaging. She's doing 'Textiles' actually. How many of you would have guessed? And she's seen me filming her – look – doesn't like it.

All those boxes we've invented, by the way, they really are bullshit. When you are cooking your bacon in the morning, you might be doing textiles; when you mow your lawn (oh god, lawns) that's physics and chemistry and english literature and art history all rolled into one. It depends greatly on how we do things. The idea that 'life begins at 40' is a good one. Largely, we live when we are young and usually start again before we 'die'. The thing to try and get hold of is that very few people manage to live their whole lives. I think my sleepwalking was most intrusive – by that I mean – I think I 'did' more in my sleep when I was mostly dead to the world... (PAUSE)..... So don't think the bosses make judgments on our intentions – I think they do it on a tick box average system of.. well kind of trying versus not trying. That's why humans are forever seeing injustice everywhere and asking that perennial question about 'why doesn't God do something?'. It's just the wrong question – and usually a bit egocentric...

The moment you know you've had it is the moment it's too late to change anything. When you think that moment arrives will very much determine how you live your life. But, if you figure it out right. Life can be great.

As I said, for me it was the chicken and here is the shed where it's carcass is rotting, still, two weeks later. Oh yes, i'm not long gone. The chicken got set on by the husky whilst we were away, making the monthly trip to South Mimms Services when I deliver the grandchildren on behalf of my son – who married the wrong woman entirely. We joined the Caravan Club. There's an institution designed to send you to sleep if ever there was one. Not that I can hold them responsible for the suffocation of my wife. But I was alseep and I will be rightly vindicated. But who'd want to go on living? That I was still judged for my poor chicken shed erecting seems, as I have said, unjust. But having had the whole thing explained, I understand... and I do feel guilty that my son will have do his own driving to collect and deliver his kids but he will be inheriting the campervan now. And it's a bloody good one. See that man painting there – he's got three minutes left. If he doesn't get off his ladder, call his wife, tell her he's leaving her and then call his employer and tell her the same. And yet time no longer exists.
All i'm trying to do is what I was asked:
“What really motivates people these days?”
On the merit of the results I put forward the bosses will consider re-introducing time (on a limited basis and in certain safer 'constituencies'in the form of day passes. This will be a major change in the constitution of Heaven and Hell. It wont be made lightly and nor was the decision that I am the leading expert in the field of making such decisions. … Ours is not to reason why.....